Gaming Groups

The '5:30 Brew Crew'

Submitted by Michael S. Webster

One of the 'rituals' of our gaming group was creating something we referred to as 'Jungle Juice'. Being teenagers as well as most of us being Mormon, this concoction took the form of a non-alcoholic beverages. One such 'Brew' was created by me, that has yet to be rivaled.

One afternoon, I ransacked our pantry to create the 'Brew', using whatever I could find that could reasonably be used in liquid refreshment. This included four different flavors of Kool-Aid, a 2 liter bottle of Sprite, a 2 liter bottle of Diet Sprite, 16 oz. of Soda Water, other drink mixes, and sugared to taste. The stuff was delicious to taste, but went down like battery acid.

The most amazing part of this 'Brew' was the range of colors:

The liquid could best be described as 'greenish-blackish-brown'.
The foam, when stirred up was a bright, lime-green.
And when spilled on the counter, left a bright red stain that lasted through 6 months of cleaning.

It is from concoctions such as these, as well as our habit of staying up until 5:30am gaming on weekends, that we christened ourselves, the "5:30 Brew Crew"!

An Idiot's Guide to our Group (of Idiots)

Submitted by Arquebus Xai and Malechi Whisper

My D&D group gets togeter about once a week. Our basic characters are a psionicist, a cleric, a mage, and a fighter/thief. The person who plays the mage, well, is the group idiot. He asked a small dragon if it was a baby. He also found a library of cursed books that he didn't realize that everytime he read a book something bad happened. By the end of that session, we had a dwarven (used to be elven), dancing, hiccuping, lethargic, pathalogical lying, profusely sweating, whistling, with a insationable appetite for deer-meat, insomniac, comatose, idiot, with multiple personalities, and a metal allergy.

This man has lost 4 characters in a span of a month. He can't resist to press buttons on walls or drink any potions that he can find. This member has inspired us to come up with a class called 'guinea pig'. We also developed the non-weapon proficiency of 'stating the obvious'. He is also quite the drama queen. He acts out anything and I mean anything that happens. The fighter/thief (me) is a headstrong elf who takes on anything un-dead. He is obsessed with a sentient sword. He will only sacrifice himself for the group only if they force him to or if the DM offers to deduct levels. He also once asked where the dragon's brain was in its head. I don't think that was stupid but they seemed to think that it was.

Then we had the cleric who was too scared to do anything. He all ways had the right idea for puzzles but he was so afraid for his character that he didn't do anything. Then he jumped down a chute and came out in two pieces.

Then we have the slut psionicist. The first thing she ever does in encounters is show her hooters and try to have sex with humanoids.

That is our group pretty much.

Kathy, The Campaign Killer

Submitted by Alloni

Well, this isn't quite a Dice Tale, but you might find it amusing.

This is the tale of Kathy.

Kathy is a character I created for Mage: The Ascension some time ago. Went into great detail, created a fully functional (though a tad strange) personality, self-consistent worldview, and so forth. I really liked her, and badly wanted to play her. And then the campaign started. And a couple sessions later, the gaming group fell apart for personal reasons having nothing to do with the game.

This annoyed me. I really wanted to play Kathy. So I found another campaign with other players and started to play her again. And three sessions later, the game fell apart. We tried again, and a couple sessions later, the group fell apart.

I even tried starting a gaming group and putting her in as an NPC. Lo and behold, the ground fell apart three sessions later.

The worst part is that the campaigns ended almost always for personal reasons having nothing to do with Kathy or me.

I still love Kathy. But I'm never going to play her again. For she is Kathy, The Campaign Killer.