Rifts

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Even Evil Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Submitted by Anonymous

This is a story that took place in a campaign in the dense South American jungles of the world once known as Earth a long time ago.

If you know Rifts pass the next paragraph. Otherwise read on:

Almost all of the human population has been erased after a great war that ended in the reactivation of magic on earth. in north america human population is 40% average. There is no place more densely populated by humans than there. The rest are inhuman mosters, gods, elementals, aliens etc. that arrived via dimensional teleportals. The most inhuman place in earth is Atlantis that reappeared on earth and now is populated by the most evil of all demons and devils, dragons and so on. humans are only foodstock there.

The 4 Protagonists (Leah, a wilderness scout; Maniac a.k.a. Burster, a Pyromanic psychic; Guiseppe, a Technowizard and Nyctalinth, a dark-elven headhunter) are somehow stranded in the jungle of south america as they investigated a strange device of alien origin near an old mine in the Coalition States territory also known as Witchita Falls. They find a strange cave entrance near a burnt and plundered camp. they of course investigate and find out it is the domain of Od, the Lionskull - headed self declared god. As the minions of Od get them after some epic battles they bring them before the mad god.

The evil god asked with a booming voice: "Human vermin, what did you think you were doing here?"

Maniac (who as you'll see has his name not only because it sounds nice) answers: "Who do you think you are huh? If you won't let us go we'll kick your ass!!"

The other characters distance themselves slowly from maniac.. awating him to fall to dust any second.

Instead the mad god laughs with a booming voice and teleports them into a slave pit in Atlantis.

So even evil gods have humor.. sometimes.

"Gloves Off? I Don't Think So!"

Submitted by Rich D.

This is one of my favorite Rifts stories. The group in this situation consisted of a Mind Melter, myself, a Mystic Mage, and a fighter that we affectionately called Plasma Boy because of his obsession with plasma i.e. the stuff the Sun is made of, weaponry.

We had discovered a pre-Rifts train tunnel and came upon the caboose of a train. Plasma Boy went in first to scout the way with the Mind Melter and myself right behind him.

Our lookout detects the trap seconds after it had gone off and pulled back in time to avoid the laser beam, allowing it to neatly pierce the barrel of his plasma rifle. To emphasize that this was a bad thing this little needle gauge went into the red and the rifle went and I quote, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

So Plasma Boy attemptes to throw it out a closed window, with the expected results. The Mind Melter puts up his Psi-Shield while I cast an Energy Dome over the rifle. It explodes doing the damage of the full clip left within it. We do the math and I have taken enough damage to turn me to vapor, while the rest of the group is crisped but OK.

The Gm being a fair sort takes out his luck dice. "Maybe you hid behind the Psi-Shield." Roll. "No." Maybe you hid behind Plasm Boy's armor?" Roll. "No." "Maybe you?" Roll. "No."

Finally, the Gm got up and said. "I'm going to the bathroom. By the time I come back figure out why he's not dead."

We ultimately decided that it melted through the floor before my Energy Dome went down and so the underside of the train absorbed some damage. We do the new math and determine that I have 2 Armor Points left.

When the the smoke clears, there I am in my underwear and a pair of armored gloves. I spent the rest of the night blocking lasers with my hands like in Mortal Kombat.

Going Out With a *BIG* Bang!

Submitted by Don Crowell

A group of friends and myself were playing a game of Rifts. The group consisted of a 9ft Borg (Kelnor the Destroyer), a rogue scholar (Otis, played by me), a mercenary (Locutus), and a Coalition Grunt (can't remember name).

Anyway, the first three characters found a base filled with many weapons and pre-rifts stuff. However, we were attacked by some bug-like creatures. We picked up a Grunt and the bugs surrounded the base. Everybody but Otis got battle-ready. Otis picked up some new armor and a couple of guns. We were ready and decided to see how well our internal defense systems worked.

Otis opened a door at the top of the base. Well, little did Otis know that three out of the four characters had taken cover. The Grunt was in the room where the bugs were droping into. Well, a battle broke out. To solve this, Locutus threw a bandolier of grenades into the room. Each bandolier holds 12 grenades. They went off and well needless to say we were mopping up the Grunt.

After recovering from the shock of loosing his character, the player with the grunt said, "I had two bandoliers of grenades on my character." Well, those 24 grenades went off. Well the walls were buckling and in the next room was about 200 grenades. That made a big mess, because the room next to that one held the Thermo-Nuclear Reactor that was powering the base. That blew up and killed all the characters, the bugs, and anything in a 20 mile radius of the base.

Whaddya mean he was evil?!?

Submitted by The Question

During a RIFTS game, our resident munchkin decides to start firing on a random target.

GM: "Why are you firing at him?"
Player: "Because he's evil!"
GM: "But what about the guy standing right behind you? You know the one that has been skinning people at random and gave tonsillectomies to ALL the children in the hospital then strung them together as a necklace" (referring to another player character)
Player: "Oh, he's okay, he's with the group."