Paranoia

Paranoia, The Paranoia Logo, The Eye in the Computer Logo Thingie, are all trademarks of West End Games. Besides, they are friends of the Computer. Are you a friend of the Computer? The Computer is my Friend.

Ah, the Comraderie!

Submitted by Bearfoot

I've got great memories of Paranoia.. (I gotta find a copy of the system again) Anyway, my favorite memory would have to be the day one of my friends let slip with a "Yes, Comrade Computer" (he was a Commie; he couldn't help it).

The whole table went silent. Fortunately for the poor character, I was running the "If it's amusing, keep em alive" rule. (not to mention a schitzo Computer) The computer snapped back a peppy "Thank you, Comrade Citizen" and after a couple of moments of tense silence, things resumed in what passes for normalicy in the Paranoia world.

Grim Reaping your Reward

Submitted by Bearfoot

There was the time that one of my players (for reasons unremembered, probably none) was given a 1,000,000 credit reward.

He was told to report to a booth to collect the reward. Well, unfortunately for this individual, it was paid to him in credit plasteel coins.

He was smothered under the weight. When the two other players were told to see what was holding him up, they were killed by the shrapnel.

Killer Smurfs From Alpha Complex

Submitted by Mark Anderson

In a Paranoia adventure, myself, Chad, and Mike were assigned to round-up an experiment gone awry. Several small, blue clones had escaped from R&D. R&D assigned several new experimental devices. Chad was assigned a kind of net-gun, I got a power-disc, and Mike was given a 9/16" wrench.

After getting over our reluctance to attack something that outranked us; the Smurfs were blue, and we were mere reds, we went after them through the air ducts of Alpha Complex. At one point I saw one at the end of a conduit and I threw my power-disc. The smurf jumped out and the disk flew out of the conduit. I stuck my head out of the conduit to see what happened. I then saw the smurfs gathered around the conduit opening with my power-disk!

They threw it at me, cleaving me in half. It then sliced through two other conduits, one where Chad was; decapitating him, and another narrowly missing Mike.

We've never taken Smurfs for granted again!

The "Magic Laser Beam" Consipiracy Theory

Submitted by Scott

Our local friendly troubleshooters were attacked by a large number of mutant commie traitors (as usual), and our Team leader fired one off a cone rifle shot (unknown shell type). The shell landed right in the middle of the enemy, and turned out to be a dud round. Panicking, the equipment guy fired his laser rifle. He got a natural 20. The DM decided that this was "the magic laser beam". The shot not only managed to go through 6 commies, it hit the dud round sitting on the floor. The dud round exploded. It was a thermo-nuclear warhead.

Please cross off another clone, friend citizen.

Soylent Green is . . . Oh! Never mind!

Submitted by Ray