Call Of Cthulhu

At Least They had Fun!

Submitted by Phillip Carter

I was running a CoC event at one of the early Kubla Kahn gaming conventions in Salt Lake City. This was a stock adventure from the 3rd Edition rulebook, and I was running three neophytes to the game. During the adventure they had they had to track down a gang of mobsters on the run from the Law. The characters, one policeman, an FBI agent, and a reporter tracked down the gangster's hideout and found their horribly torn bodies trailing down into the sewers below the warehouse that was their hideout.

While traipsing through the sewers, the reporter disappeared (the player actually had to leave for reasons I don't remember) but the two law officers continued on. Eventually they found a wall composed of bodies and other debris. As they got closer to to investigate, the wall collapsed and a the creature responsible crashed through. They fired off several useless shots, then the G-Man was torn in half. The cop, failing his SAN check, collapsed in a gibbering mass of necrophobia as the monster rended him apart.

After the game was concluded (shortly thereafter), both players said that was the best time they ever had losing characters!

NOT A Knock-Knock Joke!

Submitted by George Dorn

1920's Call of Cthulhu game: The PCs are running a law firm that unknowingly gets involved in processing a will for a rather dangerous dead guy.

One day, there's a knock on the door. Two of us in the foyer open it, revealing a many-tentacled evil beast of doom.

We close the door, quick.

There's another knock on the door.

We all turn to Nick, who's playing the secretary of the firm. He also wasn't paying much attention. "Nick, get the door."

"OK, I answer the door."

Nick promptly gets eaten.

Midget wrestling, Demons Named 'Fluffy', and Luckless Hobo's

Submitted by Lord K'Z'K (AKA Miltsar)

I was hosting a Call of Cthulhu game a few days ago for a few friends. Not only was this my first time GMing a CoC match, it was also the first CoC match I have ever seen, and turned out to be the only campaign in any RPG I've ever finished. To top this off the friends I had were. . .lets just say that they got a bit too involved in the role-playing. We ended up with: An Israeli cook, a hobo, an actress, a private eye, a drug dealer (originally he wanted to be a private eye, but when drawing his character profile on his character sheet it came out looking like a pimp and he was too lazy to change it or something), a German plumber, and two female wrestlers, one midget and one normal.

As you can imagine it was slightly difficult to get them all to meet at the same mansion at the same time, but I somehow managed to pull it off. Then as the characters enter the mansion they encounter a demon I decided to name "Fluffy" trapped in a pentagram.

The wrestlers decide to try to kill it (They weren't accustomed to the idea that your feet are your most powerful tool in CoC). The main wrestler throws the midget at the demon, but misses with the midget landing just short and smudging the pentagram, releasing the demon. The demon grabs the midget and throws it back, braining the plumber. Then the hobo attacks the demon with some sacrificial daggers used to summon the demon. The demon gets a death-bite on the Hobo's head, but the hobo manages to stab it to death, causing it to dissolve to mist.

Later the demon reforms, and finds the characters again. Everyone but the Hobo runs (at this point I was getting annoyed, the hobo kept killing the demon despite the fact that it was messing up the plot). The hobo engages in a few rounds of combat, until my subtle coaxing (cursing at him) encourages him to run. He manages to catch up with the other characters just in time to grab the bumper of their getaway car. Unfortunately he missed a luck roll, and the demon grabs onto his legs. That was one really unlucky hobo. I gave him about 5 chances at 50% each time to get into the car, but he didn’t manage to make one of them. First the actress fires at the demon from the back seat.

Unfortunately she is spraying randomly, and only hits the hobo's leg. Then the driver does some twists and turns trying to loosen the demons grip, causing the hobo to hit a lamp-post. This knocks the hobo's grip off, but the driver turns around and runs over the demon, but the hobo, while trying to reach the bumper again gets his arm run over, causing him to pass out from the pain. Finally the Israeli cook manages to grab him as the pass by again, and drags him into the car. The people discover two ways to dispel the demon, a surefire way that takes 5 min, and a way told to them by a back-alley figure that takes two min. They return to the mansion and split up. The hobo decides to do the 2min dispel in a back room while the rest of the party does the 5 min dispel. The hobo finishes the spell without a hitch, except for the fact that the spell was given to him by Nylarhotep, Fluffy's owner (He should take a lesson from Hastur about name-choosing), and was not a dispel spell, but a summon (but not bind) ghoul spell. The hobo, who sustained so much injury from the car-ride that he could hardly stand, was quickly ripped apart, and the ghoul wandered off. The rest of the campaign actually went smoothly once the hobo died, if you don’t count everyone but one character either going insane or being crippled. Man, it's gunna be hard to top that.

Professor Manslow's GhoulFriend

Submitted by Phillip Carter

While checking out a mysterious event near Miskatonic University, Professor Manslow, a character played by Mark Anderson, is exploring a cemetary. There he found a Ghoul who was more interesting in aquiring knowledge than eating people. Manslow and the Ghoul soon became friends, and Manslow escaped his first adventure somewhat unscathed.

But, the same could not be said of Mark. The jokes continue to this day:

"Mark, does your wife know you have a ghoul-friend?"
"Are you and your ghoul-friend serious?"
Etc., etc., etc. . . .